"Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability" this is my message from my delectable fortune cookie. Rich in taste and good fortune, as a cookie should be. If only I can bestow this option to the cookie monster. That way he can eat as many cookies as he wants and be fortunate enough not to worry about people saying he has had one too many.
I was working in a store years ago, when I asked an old man who walked in “What’s the secret to life?” he leaned in and smirked and said “The secret to life is to enjoy it.” Every now and then that memory percolates my mind and I smile.
Some awesome things that have happened since I last blogged…
- Met the writer Zack Stentz who wrote X-Men First class. He called me a mutant!!
- I have finished my Film and Television program at USC.
- Been helping out with the movie Space Command!
- Got an internship with Sony’s Pictures and randomly met Seth Rogen and had a conversation.
- Met some awesome new people!
I have been taking a new approach to life, I’m trying to treat uncertainty as my friend and not my enemy. It has been a fruitful and sweet walk so far so far! I watched Batman begins recently, and it got me thinking about the notion of fear. I wondered if scarecrow was going to try to awaken my fears what would I see? I suppose I would have to face my demons. I would like to think I’d grab my demons by the horns and knee them in the face. I can’t have them get in the way of me wanting to enjoy life. There’s a woman I want to be and I can’t lose sight of that especially at this point in my life. After all, why do a disservice to myself? Why doubt myself when Kim Kardashian is walking around with a big ass making lots of money? There’s no excuse not to follow your dreams. There are people who aren’t perceived as great by everybody, but they have found success and happiness because they are pursuing what they want to be. I want to maximize my potential in this life and the only way to do that is to stay positive about my abilities and challenge them.
One can’t know the true nature of somethings potential until one gives it their best. You know you are growing when you are in the process of constantly discovering something in a new way. A lot of respectable heroes tend to have this admirable quality to seek answers to how to bring ideas to life that we never thought possible. A neutral life is the safest one, it will make one like most people and make one feel less accountable for who they are and drive them away from the person they want to become. I refuse to put my drive in neutral letting life’s happenings push me towards a sign that says Dead End…. One should not forget to fuel their own tank with their desires, trust that it will lead you to where you want to be… embrace the soundtrack of your life story, and have only your hands on the wheel when it comes to who you are… the power is in our hands… it always was.
“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
C.S Lewis, ~The Four Loves
I am thankful for being courageous. There is beauty in what once appeared to be impossible, I pray that I embrace such moments and bare in mind that there is purity in unselfishness and poison in fear and desperation.
I completed what I like to call my Amelie challenge
1. Help somebody find something they lost.
2. Put someone on a date.
3. Make a memory box.
4. Develop new stratagems.
5. Seize an opportunity that I would normal be to scared to partake.
6. Do something I enjoy that I take for granted that is easily accessible.
The rest of the list is more personal but it’s a list of 17 things and I accomplished them for this year already. I will share what was #7 on the list which was writing one of my favorite quotes from the movie Amelie on glass with a white marker “Without you today’s emotions would be the scurf of yesterdays” I won’t say where I put it temporarily but I had fun with it.
I think I have possibly found my calling in being a digital colorist for films. I have been so particular with color since I was a child. I look forward to what that journey may entail, I will still do photography but I am excited to evolve! I have been watching films, and looking at it from a colorist perspective while making contacts. A better more colorful version of me is on the way… where it will lead me exactly is a gray area.
My first Comic Con! It was quite an adventure, exhausting but still very fun. First day was great I attended the Dexter panel and I am really looking forward to the upcoming season! Mos Def showed up in the audience before hitting the stage which was cool. Looks like this upcoming season will deal with religion a lot. Which can be good or very sticky… we shall see. Some people asked some good questions some were bad. One person actually referred to C.S Lee as C.S Lewis which was funny, he took it well.
My first day there I dressed up as Clawdeen wolf. I waited to get fanged and put my contacts in when I got there since they were not the most comfortable thing to wear. Funny enough one of the first people to approach me was a guy asking if he could film me buying a pretzel. Too funny and only at a place like comic con is that totally ok! Ha!
So I finally enter the dealers room in character (I don’t know what to call it? At anime expo it was called that so I will refer to it as such here.) I immediately search for the Monster High booth given I had dressed up as one of the characters. I get there and immediately one of the workers for monster high approached me asking if I was Clawdeen wolf. I of course said yes and then another man approached me and said “WHO ARE YOU?” and I said “Clawdeen wolf” and he said “Well Clawdeen I am your creator and its so good to see you finally come to life” I was shocked at this point because I really didn’t expect Garrett Sander the lead designer and creator of monster high to be there at the booth. I talked to him for a bit and then began taking pictures.
I had so much fun there it was a blast.The next day Lisi Harrison the writer of the book Monster High as well as Garrett Sander, and Audu Paden (executive producer and director) showed up. That time I dressed up as a “normie” haha but here is the pic
This went well as well the line was a bit rushed because it was so long. I got the book signed my Ghoulia doll and the picture they had given at the signing as well.
On Saturday I dressed up again as the character and took a picture with them. It was too much fun and they were all very kind ^.^ While I was waiting in line a little boy came up to me and had a picture of Clawdeen wolf. He started inspecting me “yup you got the necklace right, the belt, let me see the shoes… yup got that too and the ears yes… you are perfect absolutely perfect!” It made my day! Another lady in line asked if I officially worked for Mattel. I said no and she said “They need to hire you! You look just like her!” which was very flattering. I all around had a good time in this costume. I’ve never gotten to meet the creator of a character while IN costume! Quite the experience. After working so hard on it. I can go on and on about comic con but I’ll put some pics up of my process in creating clawdeen to end it.
Back of Jacket I decided to add a monster high symbol just because… it’s not really on her real jacket.
You can see the boots better in this pic.
Testing the other contacts.
This is how it looks with no jacket. I will leave it at this for now. ^.^
The picture above is my hair as of July 2011 after growing it out natural. I have officially given up on using relaxer on my own hair since the year July 2008. This decision was made because of a number of reasons, health, acting/auditioning/curiosity etc. I love real hair, fake hair, and a slew of different colors and textures but I always make sure the hair that grows out of my head has the most care. Here is my pic here of me after my last relaxer 2008.
Here is a pic of me with my hair flat ironed as of June 2011 3 years later after cutting the relaxed hair off (I cut off the permanently relaxed hair near the end of 2009)
My hair is much fuller and healthier looking after flat ironing as opposed to applying a relaxer. Sadly years ago I never thought I could get my hair looking this full without a weave!!! I NEVER knew my hair could look this full because I had been killing it with chemical relaxers and using hair products that didn’t nurture my hair. I also changed my hair care regimen and added in a hair steamer which I HIGHLY recommend. I am now trying to get my hair as full and long as I possibly can just to see the difference it makes.
It has not been the easiest journey. Learning how to deal with my natural texture is WAY different than having relaxed hair. I do notice a difference when I go out with my natural hair and it hasn’t always been positive. Definitely some pros and cons. Pros being that it feels lighter and more free, a con being that my hair can now be flagged at the airport for inspection o.O (here is the link to the airport incident http://thehill.com/blogs/transportation-report/tsa/170421-woman-tsa-racially-profiled-by-searching-her-hair) regardless I now feel like I have more options.